“Tenacious” is the most accurate word to describe me. Some may term me as perfectionist but without getting into the difference, my journey of preparing for the wedding was one of sweet agony. A journey so painfully enjoyable.
I had moved to India from Singapore in November 2020. The next thing I knew, the chilly December of 2020 warmed me with the promise of an eventful 2021. As my best friend was set to walk down the aisle the same month, I was wholly absorbed into the preparations like a true bridesmaid, and then boom, came my wedding dates. Meanwhile, I had applied for my US Visa. “In exactly a year’s time, I might just be in the US, married”, I thought to myself.
2020 was lockdown-ridden and with Covid still in sight, these developments at first were intimidating – as if I had already not the spent the year moving between countries. That said, we had already identified this dreamy wedding venue during January 2020. On welcoming the wedding dates, February 2021 marked the beginning of the preparation with booking of the venue. By March 2021, my bridal attire began to paint itself before me. The outfit wasn’t the only thing looking like a vision until then; the décor and gifting too unfolded the same story – inspiration of each gleaned from a gazillion images on pinterest and Instagram. To materialise my bridal wear, I first sampled a designer’s embroidery based in Bihar. Seeing no fruition, I decided to explore Mumbai where my Visa appointment was also scheduled during March end of 2021.
Owing to a last-moment rescheduling of Visa appointment, I saw myself being dispatched to Delhi in April 2021. Up against an unchartered territory and that’s when serendipity hit. Walking through this store in Delhi, my mother and I were accosted by a lehenga Which looked like everything I ever imagined for my wedding chiselling out as a fine sculpture. It was a find. My visa getting approved was cherry on the cake.
Lockdown of 2021 hit, literally, like a veiled attack to the pace of preparations. The temporary period pivoted the mind towards the finer details. A little girl whose heart would warm on visualising her wedding day had nurtured this desire of roping in local artistes and freelancers while materialising the D-day – with the special touch of sustainability. That’s how I chose jute bags to fancy potlis as wedding return gifts, freelancers for my digital wedding card and textile featuring thread work by local craftspeople. Preparing for a wedding is process peppered with irony – from wandering inside urban stores to visiting the hinterland markets, braving all inconveniences.
September arrived and it was time to initiate finishing touches to the preparations. Flights too had resumed. I visited the US that same month before the wedding in December. Perhaps, it was flying to the US alone amidst the wedding labour or the excitement of all these months metamorphising into stress – that’s when the fact of getting married pierced through. As if in flesh & blood.
Right before my wedding, I attended another friend’s. Seeing hers, it felt like my work paled in comparison. Transient emotions of a jittery bride because closer to the dates, each day looked like an art gallery. With artistes plenty. And while there were many artistes, my wedding journey is inscribed with the name of the kingpin – my father. Indeed, him interrogating my now husband for 8 hours, allowing me to move to the US before the wedding to curating each element in the project called wedding – his salience remained like that of the Captain of a ship.
Photo Credit: The Unfold Stories
There’s another thing he pulled off with his friend – Together they made a makeshift overhead bridal entry chaadar using a charpoy for me, later adorned by flowers by our décor vendor. Armed with a year to organise my wedding indicated we had enough room to be obstinately experimental, but it also meant the period of stress was also just as long. Stress, that I chose to take upon myself entirely and perhaps inflicted a bit on my loved ones too. After a year, I made for a happy bride, does it matter whether the happiness stemmed from being tenacious or being a perfectionist? Let that be a coin-toss, really.
An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you should publish more about this subject, it may not be a taboo matter but typically people dont discuss these subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!
Wonderful article! We will be linking to this particularly great post on our website.
Keep up the great writing.